Later that year,
after crying many an unrequited tear,
I went in search of another one…
I announced ‘I am bored of yearning for that undeserving prat
It’s time to find someone who actually thinks I’m all that’
Blossom dressed the trees, blue painted the skies and summer came…
Hot and sweaty, I shook off the burns of the last small, but scorching flame.
No more visits to Cafe Nero or the depressingly dingy, eighties Barnes Launderette,
I strut on to the number 9 bus, friends in tow, convinced the one is still out there yet,
We jump off the bus and march up to the Kensington Town Hall,
We’ve heard this is the new place to lurk and try to look cool.
In reality, my girlfriends and I are off to pry
and give some new lads the seductive eye.
We stand outside, leaning not so very causally against the rail,
When suddenly three figures emerge; my face goes extra pale,
One of them is utterly beautiful and heads straight towards my mate,
Lesson learned with the last ONE I accept it quickly – he’s not my fate
Anyway he is actually a little too chiseled for my liking,
I imagine in the dark his face is actually quite frightening.
The one wearing a cap starts coming my way, tracksuits rolled up to reveal pale calves,
‘You alright? He says, ‘I’ve seen you around, I was hoping one day we’d cross paths’
He has slight crossed eyes of piercing brown, long black eyelashes and some sexy stubble,
I put a cigarette to my mouth, hoping I won’t have to speak and it can act as my muzzle,
‘What’s your name?’
‘Grace. Yours?” I say trying to sound chilled and totally unfussed,
But if my heart was racing on a road, it would leave a trail of dust .
‘Well it’s James, but my MC name is ‘sicker-D’
‘That’s sick. Do you MC a lot?’
‘Girl, I’ve been rhyming since the cot’
I laugh loudly and wipe my hair so it sits behind my ear,
He is smiling cheekily and coming increasingly near.
‘Where you go to school?’
Really Grace you asked that? How uncool!
‘Holland Park. Doing my GCSES this year,
Want to come to the studio one day, it’s near?’
‘Oh yeah, whereabouts?’
‘Grove. In my house’
With a little giggle, I nod my head.
Is he serious or just asking me to bed?
‘Put in your number’, and with a wink he passes me his phone,
In the next few weeks we become an item and I’m no longer alone.
We spend hours in my bedroom snogging and listening to his choice of garage tunes,
So this is what it’s like – hanging with a boyfriend and slightly choking on weed fumes,
Then he turns to me ‘Babe I’ve got to go record’
which is a relief as I am actually quite bored
I’ve also got a rash on my face from where his facial hair has rubbed and aggravated my skin,
My hair is in such a state and I feel quite stoned; my mouth is dry and my head is on the spin
So off he goes, to MC on a pirate radio,
I go to Kelly’s house, tune in and make her listen to his every word,
I say ‘that’s my boyfriend’ clear my throat and say it again.
Make sure she’s heard.
One day he says ‘Grace, baby, I’ve got a chat for you’
I feel my heart melt to bubbling liquid ‘Oh Sicker, you do?’
And with his mouth, he starts making a beat,
I am on the absolute edge of the kitchen seat,
‘She walks into the club, everyone looks, everybody stare’
That’s my girl, with her blue dress and long blonde hair’
Disappointment overcomes me when he comes to a halt,
I wanted more, I expected more, stupid of me – it’s my fault,
‘Do you like it baby?’
I try to nod my head, but words are climbing from this stupid mouth of mine,
‘Well it’s just we’ve never been to a club or anywhere public but it’s totally fine’
‘Oh really, is that right? You don’t like my rhyme?’
‘I just think it’s a bit silly and a lie’
‘You know what – I need a girl that’s going to support me, and not be on my back,
when I do nice things for her, I want her to be like hey that’s cool, not that’s wack’
‘I’m sorry baby, I am I am, you know I love everything you do’
‘Baby, you’ve gotta get that I can make stuff up, it don’t have to be true’
I pushed my curfew till very late to make amends,
I told him I wouldn’t have sex with him,
and he said his patience was wearing thin,
There were no resolutions after we rowed,
Our teenage relationship hit its grey cloud.
and that was it,I said goodbye and walked out his flat on Grove,
I bought a snickers and cried hysterically in the park on his road.
So that is how me and Sicker D came to an end,
Another little crack in my heart, which would soon mend.