The taxing period tax

‘We’ve made so much progress, now shut up and undress’

Is, I fear,

Still the message to women far and near.

Do what you want, but you’d prefer to do that, wouldn’t you dear?

And day in, day out, I’m slapped in the face with how little has really changed,

From equal pay and positions in politics we remain almost completely estranged

But nothing acts as more of a reminder that we are the inferior sex


As reaching Boots payment till

Overheating under the ruthless bright lights of my local store,

With that monthly feeling – miserable and depressed to the core

Tampons in hand, I spill them onto the desk,

‘Thank you. That will be 3 pounds twenty’

My face goes beetroot and my eyes water plenty

My ears are steaming and I want to hiss

It’s taking the FUCKING PISS

It’s not a great time of the month for me and now THIS,

You must think I am a fool;

These things are just cardboard and cotton wool.

As if having a period isn’t bad enough,

It costs more than 50 quid a year to not be up the duff

You’re already in pain, feel horrible and hate everything you do,

But it’s only fair that you should pay for that privilege too

And what’s so infuriating is that I’m actually being kind

Because I’d happily bleed everywhere – I really don’t mind

I do this for you, you fuckers, to keep your country clean

Then you have the cheek to tax me – quick PJ for the Queen.

And yes, I have more to vent,

As tampons are taxed 5 per cent,

Considered a ‘luxury item’

No – very sadly that’s not a joke,

Whereas a razor is a ‘necessity’ for a bloke.

This archaic misogynistic bullshit needs to end,

Oh how often does this shit have to be penned?


And guess what – we’re here to stay,

So get a grip and STOP making us pay.

Drop the tax on tampons, it’s shocking it exists,

Consider this a warning…

The town will be painted red if it persists.