Happy 21st birthday to my baby sister Silvy P and the amazing Emily Ruby Knight

Here’s a little speech/poem I read at my sister Silvy’s 21st birthday…

21 years ago shit really hit the fan

Me and Elle were pretty secure we were last in the fam,

One wide eyed baby stealing my attention had been enough,

but low and behold mum was yet again up the  bloody duff

9 months later, she was rushed to A&E,

And much to my annoyance we were suddenly three.


Silvy was quickly a nightmare.

She would just scream till she got what she wanted

and this often meant MY desires were thwarted


And with Silvys naughtiness, imaginary friend Goldilocks emerged on the scene,

One night lying on Silvs bed, attempting the impossible task of making her serene,

I pointed at water stains on the ceiling and said I wonder where those are from and when they came

She ummed and ahhed and eventually said Yeah – It looks like goldilocks been cooking kippers again


On her third birthday, Silvy announced that the dress code should be evil whilst sitting in her cot

Unsurprisingly, her mates had no clue what evil was so we had wonderwomen, batmen – the lot.

Silvy sat over her cake face painted white, black swastika on her head

and drew her own Goebbels on an unassuming child called Fred  


So after I went through puberty with this little bundle of energy and fire,

on whom the lets tell on her and pull down her bikini gag never did tire.


Something happened. Im not sure what.

See – Silvy never really did the cringe thing of the teenage years,

I listened to LL Cool J everyday and prayed to be black,

Emo Elle wore black and listened to Avril Lavigne  

Silvy made no such embarrassing scene

She just grew up. No fuss. No say this is a phase, please

And as she did, I suddenly found myself at her knees.

Frank, Claudia, Emily, Silvy hang out with me please!


Loyal, kind, hysterical, fun, exhaustingly witty and bright,

there is nothing more satisfying than looking at the sight

of my little sister and saying at last, FINALLY

Youre my best friend and Thank God there were three.


So for Silvy and Emily: the goldilocks Silvy was always looking for and who the Ps madly adore

Lets get some standing ovation and more importantly give my poem some bloody appreciation.