An Ode to Richard of Leicester Car Park

What induces more fear?

Being locked in the tower,

or Leicester car park lower tier?

As your bones became a stomping ground for Fords and the odd Peugeot

How could you imagine? How could you possibly know?

That all your ploys to be king would come to this,

your bones a flannel to tramps piss.

So your bent back and your weird face

which wore furs, crowns and lace

‘Oh wait Cheryl, there’s a parking place’

The story would’ve had Shakespeare in stitches

Richard III part II

Starring Norfolk, York,

needles, kids sniffing glue

and of course, the remainder of you.


From your ascent, down you came,

nowhere better to end your reign,

Than lurking in the car park…




I don’t mean to sneer,

I don’t mean to mock,

But I bet you feel like a serious cock.


You thought it over at the battle of Bosworth when your head fell, your crown too,

But no Richard,

Leicester council had bigger plans for you.


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