The hairdresser: I really feel that your hair reflects you. You can’t be very happy at the minute, as your hair is a mess…
Funny that.. my misery began at around 11 when I first walked in here and we bleached it.
The random tube taker: Smile – it might never happen.
Me get stupidly rich and sit reading on a Caribbean island for the rest of my life. You are right, it won’t happen. But I really don’t want to talk about it.
The person at the cash desk when I’m buying tampons:
That’s four pounds and sixty nine pence.
Why the f*ck should I? Let’s see what happens now….I might just paint the town red.
Someone I vaguely know: You have food in your teeth.
Yes, I am aware of that.. Well, I’m not. But I really don’t want YOU to tell me.
Very ‘relaxed’ people: ‘I’m just chilling’ (in an exasperated and stressed voice)
I beg to differ
The Ex Boyfriend: I really care about your family.
What about ME? I swear I was the one that you were meant to care about. My family didn’t even like you.
Anyone and everyone: You’re just tired.
And you’re just boring.
Anyone who is not Italian: Ciao
GOOD BLOODY BYE!